The diet

She stands shoulders slumped hands poised over the stove, her mind is far away.

One table spoon of this , a pinch of that ,the ingredients are not unfamiliar, she’s made this meal a hundred times.

The food is good , she thinks,  it is a meal she had enjoyed many times before.

Today though, today she will not know, she cannot, she is cooking for the ones that can know.

It is a hard task I think for a woman on a diet to cook for a husband and child who is not.


Social Media: The beast we’ve invited into our home

The late 1990’s saw that rise of the social media platform which changed forever the way we shared and received information, how relationships were formed and maintained and expanded our sphere of influence. The first recognizable social media site was 6 degrees established in 1997 then followed Myspace 2003, Facebook 2004 ,Youtube 2005 ,Twitter 2006 and finally Instagram in 2010. All are distinct in their own right but they all essentially serve the same purpose of helping people connect and become informed. Social Media has helped bridge geographical and cultural gaps and helped us form and maintain long distance contact with people we love. You can’t help but marvel at this great technological feat. However there is an underside to these sites that should not go unnoticed which is slowly gnawing at our social consciousness. It allows sociopaths largely unregulated access to our families and is resocializing us, negatively influencing the way we view ourselves and our communities.glossy-social-media-icons-vector-set_659063 Continue reading

Suicide and the black community

Suicide is no joke and happens far more frequently than you know and many of us are willing to admit. In fact it was the tenth leading cause of death in 2015  behind cancer, diabetes and heart disease to name a few and has been in the top 10 for years. The aforementioned diseases are some of the most painful and debilitating illnesses that no one in their right mind would wish for. So what makes so many others inflict pain and harm upon themselves with the intention to die. In the wake of RnB singer Kehlani’s suicide attempt I was reminded of all the friends and family members  since high school who have confided in me at one point or another that they either tried or thought about killing themselves. Most of these confessions came from women and whats more all of them came from a place of not feeling loved and validated or feeling alone.

kehlani-2016-mtv-woodies10-for-16-show Continue reading

Are your friendships really enemyships??

Almost every woman I meet has a story to tell about a failed friendship. Most often they have not one, but a few heartbreaking tales about the time they were betrayed, lied about, judged, deceived or made to feel used and unwanted. In all these stories, I have noticed one common thread. It always seems to be the other woman’s fault. Even I myself am guilty of sharing the story in a way that highlights me as the victim or minimises the hurtful things I did to the other person. What this tells me, is that clearly, none of us are examining the situation from an honest place and this is why we keep repeating the same mistakes thereby creating more enemyships than we do friendships.

gossip_450x200 Continue reading

Maria Sharapova and the Media’s double standard  



Two days ago tennis star Maria Sharapova called a press conference where she announced that she had tested positive for the banned substance Meldonium at the Australian Open. During the conference she apologized for what she called a “huge mistake” which she then followed with a number of excuses, including that the drug she had been taking had only been banned on January 1st of 2016. She maintained that while the updated list of banned substances was emailed to her she failed to follow the link for the document. Her team, including her doctor who should be aware of the rules, failed to keep abreast of this very important detail. She admitted to have been taking the drug for 10 years prior to testing positive for the banned substance and claims she used it to treat an irregularity in her EKG, signs of diabetes and deficiency in magnesium.

Since her admission a number of details have come to light that questions the credibility of her excuses. Arguably, she has undeservedly been the highest paid tennis pro for 15 consecutive years, earning almost 300 million since she became a pro in 2001. From this, one would assume that she would have one of the best teams around to protect her legacy and massive fortune. To say that so many people dropped the ball in protecting her health and career is unbelievable to say the least. Continue reading

The Side Chick Negotiations/ Black bourgeoisie file


I have a friend whom I have known for almost a decade and each time we meet I feel as if I’m in an undeclared sexual negotiation. Sometimes months, even years go by before we see each other despite regularly speaking on the phone. Whenever I see him I find myself party to the same conversation about his hunt for a side chick. Now you may be wondering why I would even entertain this man’s foolishness? But honestly, he’s a really nice guy (sexual issues aside) and he had never aggressively and openly expressed an interest in me. Instead, for the past few years he has chosen to drag me into these hypothetical conversations.

Here is some back ground: We are both from a culture believe it or not, where it is prevalent in fact normal for a man to have a wife and a girlfriend and juggle full families with them both for the rest of his life. Usually one or both women are aware and at least one is accepting. Continue reading

Black History Month revisited


Black History Month is the annual celebration of the achievements and contribution of African Americans to the history of the United States celebrated in February of each year. This celebration evolved from the work of noted Harvard graduate and historian Carter G Woodson and his colleague Jesse E Moorland both of whom formed the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History (ASNLH 1915). In 1926 the group initiated the national Negro History Week to be celebrated during the second week of February paying homage to the birthdays of both Fredrick Douglas and Abraham Lincoln. It was not long before the celebration was adopted by many groups and colleges all across the United States. As the civil rights movement grew in the 1960’s, along with black awareness and empowerment, Negro history week became far more pivotal in its purpose. Eventually it evolved into a month long celebration that was officially recognized in 1976 by the white house and then president Gerald Ford. Since then it has been adopted by many nations all across the world.

When Woodson initiated ASNLH and Negro History Week, his intention had never been for the celebration to become a permanent fixture in the American culture. His intention was to use it as a vehicle to bridge the gap between the two dominant races who at the time, had a great tension between them, some 50 plus years after slavery ended. Continue reading